Managing Over-talkers... Politely
Meetings should be a safe space to share ideas and build consensus, but they can have a darker side. When one person dominates the conversation it stifles creativity and wastes time. This week we’re covering how to deal with over-talkers.
Getting Over an Over-talker
Over-talkers! We all know at least one, and if you don’t I have some bad news for you (it just might be you). But while in your personal life you can usually feel a little more free to ask someone to kindly shut their trap, a bit more tact is required in an office environment. How do you handle someone who single-handedly makes every meeting half an hour longer? Let’s talk it out!
First, can’t you just let them be who they are? No, you can’t. Not only are they wasting everyone’s time (and the company’s money), but when someone dominates the conversation it can keep others from providing valuable input. Even worse, it can make a regular meeting something people dread, which permanently ruins it and affects your productivity. Here are some steps you can take.
Narrowly Define the Meeting Objectives
You can’t keep meetings on track if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be discussing. So as long as “Todd’s cat” isn’t a line item, having an agenda gives you the justification to stay on task. Having an agenda is just good advice even if you don’t have the over-talker problem, because it keeps things efficient. If someone brings up a new topic that is worth discussing, it can be handled by scheduling a different meeting.
Politely Interrupt
To get someone to stop talking during a meeting, you need to get their attention. If eye contact and body language isn’t enough to give them the hint, you’ll need to interrupt them -- politely, of course. It’s also important to acknowledge what they are saying before redirecting the conversation, or they are likely to have their feelings hurt. It’s usually best to thank them for the points they’ve made and suggest that further conversation take place offline. Here’s where your agenda comes in handy, because you can point out that in order to respect everyone’s time it’s best to move on.
Have a Private Conversation
If this is a consistent problem with an individual, it may be worth having a one-on-one conversation. But it has to be done extremely carefully, and your approach will vary based on the individual. With some people you might say something like this: “I’ve noticed some of the people in our group are reluctant to speak up during meetings. Do you think we could encourage them to contribute more if we scale back how much we talk?” Or you could say, “We struggle a bit to keep conversations on task during meetings. Do you have any ideas?” That way you bring them into your confidence to solve the problem.
Do Damage Control
When one person dominates the conversation regularly, it may have a chilling effect that leaves introverts reluctant to say anything. You may need to go around the table and ask people by name if they have anything to add. It has to be done in a low-pressure manner, but some people need to be gradually drawn out of their shell by invitation. With this situation you can also talk to people individually and let them know you’d appreciate more contributions.
Meetings are the double-edged sword of the business world: they can be great tools of productivity or impediments to getting anything done. The people make all the difference, and sometimes they need a little nudge to make sure your meetings are everything they can be.
We all want to be respectful of others’ feelings, so long as they aren’t making it hard for other people to do their work. Like any business process, meetings can require some people management skills to make them more effective. You can do it!