Work/life balance is a task in itself
Hey everybody and welcome to the end of summer! That means quite a few of us have kids that are heading back to school, an end to summer hours at work and a renewed push to accomplish annual goals. Especially knowing that the holidays are already staring us down. Even if you aren’t married or don’t have kids, there’s that sense that work is about to be more demanding. And I’m here to tell ya, don’t sacrifice your personal time no matter what.
There is enough time in the day to get everything done. But only if you get better at making good commitments to everyone in your life. And that includes you. So let’s dig into how we can keep things moving forward without feeling like we’re falling behind.
Be Like Water
Yes Bruce Lee fans, the Little Dragon was onto something. We feel off balance when we’re rigid and set in our ways. But if we can be flexible and lean into the challenge at hand even a little we can make big progress. But we have to shift our minds and expectations about doing all the things all the time. And also realize that at different times in our lives our priorities will shift.
The Time Triangle
A good friend once told me the secret to his success at accomplishing so much in his career and being married for over 20 years was being kind to himself. He knew there was only so much he could really do in a day. So he used the concept of a time triangle that had one of the following words on each of its three sides: Me, Work, Family. Only two can be pointing up at any point. So at the beginning of each day he would look at all of his responsibilities and say, “ok, work and family need me today so I’m gonna skip out on seeing a movie with friends tonight.” Or, “I’m gonna have to skip out of work early to get to my doctors appointment and not miss my daughter’s soccer game.” I follow this principle but I put my own spin on it, the same side can only be down for three days in a row. In other words, you can’t sacrifice yourself and only take care of work and your loved ones. On that fourth day you’re going to go for a long walk or maybe take yourself out to a nice dinner.
Break Down The Walls
I’m a firm believer in family time, personal time and work time. But I don’t believe each one has to take place at a certain location. It took me a long time to learn that it’s ok to bring work home, sometimes. And it’s ok to manage personal and family things from work, sometimes. Instead of feeling guilty, let’s address what’s taking up headspace and get it done. Then we can be focused on whoever we happen to be around at the time. Even if it’s just ourselves! I think this has become exponentially more acceptable as more of us work from home anyway. If you need to do something, do it. But be 100% focused in those moments on what needs your attention. The challenge isn’t always balancing the tasks as much as it is giving the proper attention to what we’re doing.
Include Your Family
If you have kids, you know they pick up on everything. And when they see a parent working hard that can be a real inspiration. I always invited my kids to participate in whatever I might have been doing. As a result, at 7yo my youngest would walk around the house asking me “but will it scale?” and laughing. And both my kids were always sharing business ideas because I would brainstorm with them. How we are in any moment sets the tone.
Ask for Help
There will be times in your life when one aspect is overpowering everything else. For me this happened at the end of 2021 when my mom was hospitalized for 6 weeks. I couldn’t do my job so I asked for help from the Bureau Community. Both my co-workers and Bureau Ambassadors stepped up to help. And I also couldn’t be at the hospital all the time, so I asked my brother and sister to travel overseas and spend time with her. Most of all my wife and daughters kept me sane by granting my request that when we were together we’d crash and watch silly movies or play games. What I’m proudest of was that I was able to let go of a lot of responsibilities but still take care of myself. I either went for a run or a long walk nearly every day of those 6 weeks.
You don’t have to do this on your own. None of us do.
I know we all have different lives with different challenges and responsibilities. So some of what I shared may not be a fit for you. Heck, it shouldn’t be. We’re all on a different part of our journey and it’s really about work/life flow, not balance. Let me know what helps you get through the day.