Is being thankful the selfish solution to all our woes? 🦃

Gratitude Is The Secret Sauce

Greetings everyone! For those of us in the United States, it’s the week we remember to be thankful for all we’ve got. And for those outside of the U.S., you get to watch us give thanks by indulging ourselves in too much food and overspending as we stampede to the stores on Black Friday. But the thing is, being thankful for what we have could be the simple answer to solving so many of our challenges. We see it in nature, science, history, religion, and philosophy. And yet we seem blind to it as we chase whatever it is we think will make us happy. So let’s take a look at why gratitude is the best gift we can give ourselves and the world.

To Make Things Better, Be Thankful Every Day

OK, I know. I just read that too and I was like, really? Being thankful is going to solve world hunger, social unrest, the next (or current) pandemic, and Twitter’s meltdown? Maybe? Here’s the thing. If we all take a look around and see how much we’ve got it can be overwhelming. If you’re reading this you probably aren’t worried about where you’ll sleep tonight or where you’ll get food tomorrow. And you also know that there are others who don’t have that luxury of basic needs being a given. So right now take a deep breath, hold it for a minute and exhale. Now say thank you. It feels good because it is good. But why?

What is Gratitude?

While it can be hard to define, to me it’s being thankful for something good in your life and acknowledging that something external made it possible. It’s often other people but it can be a belief in a higher being, nature, or fate as well. And what happens when we embrace the appreciation of others in our lives?

Benefits of Giving Thanks

When we are grateful we become psychologically and physically healthier. We are happier in our own lives and relationships and our need for material possessions decreases. This isn’t according to people drinking hippy juice, but legitimate research. It turns out that when we stop chasing what we don’t have and appreciate all the goodness in our world, we sleep better. And when we sleep better we feel better. And when we feel better we are kinder, more patient, and want to give back to others. Ok, maybe there’s a little hippie juice flowing but it’s based on science. But it’s not just in research studies, we see it in nature as well.

Gratitude is a Basic Instinct

It’s easy for us to think we’re better than other animals, but when it comes to gratitude they may have us beat. Being generous is an evolutionary advantage. Some even think it’s in our DNA. Across different species such as fish, birds, and primates, they help others in their group with no direct benefit to themselves. For example, a chimpanzee is more likely to share food with a chimp that groomed them earlier or even help them with a task. It sure seems that acts of kindness are in our genetic makeup.

Social Impact of Thankfulness

Many have called gratitude the “social glue” that keeps us together as friends, loved ones, and human society. Research shows a strong connection between gratitude and prosocial behavior. When we are thanked for doing a kind gesture we are more likely to keep up with that individual or group. And everyone involved is more likely to pay it forward by doing something beneficial for others with no immediate personal benefit. And I think most of us have seen how this plays out in our teams. When we thank someone for a job well done they are happier, more engaged, and will pay it forward with an act of gratitude or support for a coworker.

Actively Practicing Gratitude

If you know me personally, you know I love to journal. Every day I write down three things I’m grateful for. And it’s not that hard because over time you learn to appreciate the smallest things. Flipping back a few pages I gave thanks last week because my daughter asked if I wanted to watch a new show with her. It’s not about a big win that catapults you onto the leaderboard of life. It’s about someone thinking about you. Including you. Supporting you.

A lot of folks write thank-you notes and these are awesome. Not only do you send something tangible, but it’s unexpected these days. When I get them I keep them in a special folder. Then when I’m having a crappy day I open that folder and within a few minutes, I’m feeling better. I have a digital folder as well for positive emails, texts, or social love. But that physical folder connects on a different level.

Most of all, share your appreciation with the people who have done nice things for you. Sometimes when I’m stuck in an airport I’ll start texting folks I care about but haven’t heard from for a while with two simple words, “Miss you.” Without fail, I get a barrage of positive responses and occasionally a sad one where somebody really needed a friend.

We all have so much to give. Don’t just be thankful this holiday season, actively give thanks all year long. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving.